Forshee tells Elite Daily, maybe this is a sign that you and your partner are ready to start talking about living together in the near future. However, you should be ready to hear that that compromise may include either a) your partner chipping into some of your living expenses, or b) taking your relationship with your SO to the next level. You don't need to necessarily label your roomie right or wrong for what they did the most important thing, Forshee says, is to talk openly about what's bothering both of you and come to a compromise you can both stick to moving forward. Make it clear to your roommate that you want to discuss these things privately - between the two of you - Dr.
Then, with a clear head, she says, "schedule a time to meet up with your roommate in a neutral place, and let your roommate know that you understand that they spoke with your partner about financial responsibilities of the apartment." "The first thing to do is gather information from your partner about how your partner was approached, and what was discussed," she tells Elite Daily. Forshee says it's best not to talk to your roommate about it until you've simmered down a bit. Maybe your roommate seizes the one-on-one opportunity to drop a subtle, snide remark about how much higher the water bill's been ever since your partner started taking their daily, post-work shower at your place.īy the time word gets back to you that this happened, you may feel really heated about it. Say your partner let themselves into your apartment while you were still on your way home from work, but your roomie got back and saw your SO with their feet up on the couch for the sixth night in a row this week. In theory, that sounds like some evil, back-stabbing stuff, but this scenario could easily play out in a really low-key, seemingly harmless way. "The only real limit is what you and your roommate agree upon." It's all about finding what's comfortable for all of you, he explains, and establishing boundaries from there. Brown tells me in an interview with Elite Daily. "How you decide this should be based upon your own individual sets of needs," Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent relationship expert in Los Angeles who works with singles and couples, something that might make you feel more at ease is knowing that there really isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to handling this situation. I know it might seem daunting to put a limit on how often your partner stays at your apartment (which could put a strain on your relationship), or to talk about what those boundaries are with your roommate (who you might discover is really rigid about these things), but according to Dr.
Maybe you were single when you guys first moved in together, so you never really talked about the hypotheticals of what to do about these sorts of things, but that doesn't mean you can't ever talk about it. After all, it's their home too, and the last thing you want is to step on any toes with the people closest to you.Įven if your SO and your roomie have totally hit it off after getting to know each other, you have to be respectful of shared space, just as you'd hope your roomie would be of yours. But there's definitely one big thing to be aware of here: If you live with a roommate, it's important to consider how they feel about how often your partner stays over at the apartment. You have a space to call your own, and you can't wait to invite your partner into that space to learn more about you. When you start getting serious with someone - someone you'd dare to say you have more than just a "Thing" with a capital T with - it's beyond exciting, especially when you're (finally) living on your own.